Saturday, August 20, 2005
Twin Creek "Specimen"
Today, LiberalLoatherLabs released the long-awaited information on their new world-changing discovery. Never again can those who refute the theory of evolution use the excuse that it can't be shown in action.
On January 22nd of this year, our research department recieved a call from an individual claiming to have found a very unusual "rock" on his farm. Fred Hamms, the sheep-rancher from the Sylamore Hills area of the Arkansas Ozarks, had never noticed the rock formation perched on a rise above his chicken yard, before.
"It was just kinda settin' there eyeballin' me", he said after Joseph Lowenbrau, our field researcher for this area, came to his farm to investigate.
"It gave me goosebumps-even when I had my back to it", he continued. "I hain't never seen nothin' like it"
Upon Examination, Dr. Lowenbrau quickly realized the significance of the find.
"This is clearly a momentous find! This may be the answer to all the questions science has been unable to answer about the process of evolution up to this point."
For the past several months, our researchers have been examining the Twin Creek "specimen" at our facility in the Ozarks. We can now announce that we have been able to confirm-lichens, with their ability to form beneficial symbiotic bonds with other forms of life, have been at work changing themselves into chickens.
"This is evolution in action", said Dr. James Schlitz, our head of research. "We have determined that genetic coding from chicken-droppings have somehow contaminated that of the lichens, resulting in a beneficial mutation."
Though it is obvious that the process is recent, the only area of the object which seems to be active in this process is the eye on the left side of the head. "The study of this ongoing evolutionary event has yielded a realm of new science",Dr. Schlitz announced.
LiberalLoatherLabs is in the process of putting up a web-page which will go into detail about the studies associated with this find.
"We expect the site to be up and running by Monday morning", said Dr. Schlitz, "in conjuction with the formal announcement at LLL Research Institute. It will thrill and amaze you to see the information we have already gleaned from this specimen", he stated.
In South Dakota, Our field research team has found no connection between the find in the Ozarks and the boulders which had been thought to be evolving into chipmunks.